Santa Or Satan Essays - Santa Claus, Christian Folklore

Santa Or Satan? To Whom It May Concern: I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer be able to serve Southern United States on Christmas Eve. Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. I now serve only certain areas of Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin and Michigan. As part of the new and better contract I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies so keep that in mind. However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few differences between us. Differences Such As: There is no danger of a Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads: These toys insured by Smith and Wesson. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave an RC cola and pork rinds [or a moon pie] on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit can handy. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flying' coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace. You won't hear On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen... when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, On Earnhardt, on Wallace, on Martin and Labonte. On Rudd, on Jarrett, on Elliott and Petty. Ho, ho, ho! has been replaced by Yee Haw! And you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, I her'd dat! As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words Back off. The last I heard it also had other decorations on the sleigh back as well. One is Ford or Chevy logo with lights that race through the letters and the other is a caricature of me (Santa Claus) going potty on the Tooth Fairy. The usual Christmas movie classics such as Miracle on 34th Street and It's a Wonderful Life will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll see Boss Hogg Saves Christmas and Smokey and the Bandit IV featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol cars crashing into each other. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree. And finally, lovely Christmas songs have been sung about me like Rudolph The Red-nosed Reindeer and Bing Crosby's Santa Claus Is Coming to Town. This year songs about Bubba Claus will be played on all the AM radio stations in the South. Those song title will be Mark Chesnutt's Bubba Claus Shot the Jukebox; Cledus T. Judd's All I Want for Christmas Is My Woman and a Six Pack, and Hank Williams Jr.'s If You Don't Like Bubba Claus, You can shove It. Sincerely Yours, Santa Claus Member of North American Fairies and Elves Local 209 Bibliography none Supernatural Issues

Stress and Memory Loss essays

Stress and Memory Loss essays At some point in every persons' life, they will experience some kind of trauma. And though we know the shock of trauma usually occurs instantly, we cannot always anticipate how the anxiety may affect us in the long term. For some, who have personally been exposed to a life threatening event, or have been confronted with any type of seriously disturbing event sometimes develop what is known as acute distress. Acute distress may leave a person feeling frazzled after a few sleepless nights, but it is not something to be exceptionally worried about until it persists for over a month. When this happens it is called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). (Schiraldi, G. 2009) What many people do not realize, is that Post Traumatic Stress Disorder can occur at any age, including childhood. Symptoms usually begin within the first 3 months after the trauma, though it can be months, even years before symptoms appear. Many times the symptoms associated with PTSD cause significant problems with marriages, social relationships, and occupational life. According to the DSM-IV-TR (the diagnostic manual of mental disorders) symptoms include: persistent frightened thoughts and memories of the trauma, feeling emotionally numb or detached, difficulty falling or staying sleep, difficulty concentrating, irritability or outbursts of anger, hyper-vigilance, exaggerated startle response, as well as not being able to recall certain events or even missing huge gaps of time in their lives. This is commonly referred to as dissociate memory loss. This last example still has researches at a loss. What impact does uncontrollable stress have upon memory function? According to an article published by Yale University, School of Medicine, there have been neuroimaging studies to determine the areas of the brain that are affected by Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The two brain areas that have been consistently mentioned include the hippocampus, the area of...